Research Notes from the Real Housekeeping Institute

Currently preliminary data culled from extensive research at the Real Housekeeping Institute, located in Guelph, Ontario can report conclusively:

There are, in fact, space time continuum disturbances. However real time experiments have shown that previous theories have not been expansive enough as previously it was theorized  disturbances were limited to the dimension of time. Allow us to note the following examples leading us to conclude that the space time continuum theories need to be expanded.

Example 1: It has been observed that the distance from the top of the dishwasher to the interior of the dishwasher is greater than or equal to the distance from the dirty dish to the dishwasher. There is some evidence to suggest that some element of time disturbance is also present, especially when there is a ‘bedroom variable’ present. Typically adding the bedroom variable means the dirty dish will take twice, if not exponentially more time to reach the interior of the dishwasher. Early reports suggest that this is because the distance from the floor of the bedroom to the dishwasher top is ‘too far’ to complete in one trip.

Example 2: Sizing. It has been observed that when an article of clothing has been identified as belonging to “Mom” it automatically possesses multi-fit-ability. An ideal example would be socks. Again, adding the “matching pair” variable and it has been conclusively shown that Matching Socks Belonging to Mom fit every member of the family. Repeated research has shown the following anomalies to this phenomenon:
-Mom’s socks worn by other family members rapidly loose their elasticity and no longer fit Mom after being worn by other family members.
-There appears to be colour and pattern variance to this rule, pink socks with hearts do not fit any male unless put on in the dark at which point they fit until they are visually noted by any one other than the dog. At which point, they apparently shrink instantly or grow amazingly painful to wear. At least Real Home Institute supposes this to be the situation based on the rapid removal of said socks.

Example 3: Unfortunately, this is an example of time. Real Housekeeping Institute acknowledges that this example is widely accepted by the general public. Time spent recording research while on the computer passes by at the speed of light.

So until a further moment of extended time, Real Housekeeping Institute will have to conclude its observations for the day.

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2 Responses to Research Notes from the Real Housekeeping Institute

  1. Elaine says:

    I love it!!

    So sad that this is all accurate in more than one home study.

  2. appliejuice says:

    ROTFL I like that. 🙂

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