Being that my husband is a Union man I’ll use his terms.
Today he sat down and had a list of complaints. He then proceeded to tell me how to fix the problems.
For example, our home-school doesn’t feature enough seat-work. The laundry doesn’t get folded regularily enough. Our meals have been of standards lower than he likes. And I’m not growing my sewing business enough.
These are common refrains in our house. But today I flipped my response.
Fine, I said, I accept that those are issues and I personally have problems with them myself. This isn’t a one sided concern. However, it is always up to me to solve these problems. The solution is always something *I* must either do, not do, or change.
So, I continued, today you will tell me what *you* are going to do. How are *you* part of the solution.
I proposed some suggestions. Not enough seat-work (in other words, our homeschool is not ‘school at home.’); I feel that I am at capacity in regards to this, I’ve done my research and am happy with my philosophy of education and approaches. So, if you are not satisfied, then you take a subject and *you* teach that subject. After all, he is the qualified legal teacher in the house.
You don’t like how the laundry is not folded. I have two solutions to offer. Either you pay someone to fold our laundry or *you* do it yourself.
You don’t like the quality of the food served. You assist with its preparation, you assist with the shopping, and you assist with the menu planning and budgeting.
I then gave a deadline of tonight for a solution from him. I was clear that solutions can have responsibilities from both of us. However, the solution is *not* more from me. This me has no more to give.
[Sorry if this is slightly militant. I strongly believe that marriage is a partnership. Both contribute to the problem, both contribute to the solution.]