I meet a lot of people in my life. There is one thing that I’ve learned, and it is that every single person I’ve met has a life that could be considered full of stressful and traumatic events.
I have yet to get to know a single person and discover that person who hasn’t had something “big” happen in their lives. Every single person I’ve had a chance to really get to know has a story.
True, some people are happy and seem to have that touch of gold in their lives today but they carry a history of an alcoholic parent, or sexual abuse, or horrid school yard bullying, or thousands of other possibilities.
One thing I am learning is that their attitude toward these bad times in their lives is key to how they survived and later thrived or seemingly their life collapsed at that moment and they are still stuck at that time.
I’m also learning that I have a very hard time being around people who are stuck. I want to help them, I want to listen and I want to do something! Yet, I can’t. Their pit of despair (to use the Princess Bride term) seems to suck the very life out of me!
It seems that you can’t say a thing to get through to these people either! Last night I had a very long conversation with an individual. I know this person very well. I thought I used excellent reasoning, insight, and careful honest evaluation of the events to show how they were not the victim in that situation.
Instead, I only succeeded in angering the individual because I was the one blind enough not to see how they could not have been the victim.
In psychology class we learned about such a thing. Its clouded perception. It is a way of survival as well. It is also a way of making the individual seem important. Seriously, isn’t the world revolving around me? Clearly all the calamity is directed against me!
Anyhow, I digress!