Today I took my son off to the Educational Specialist for some testing. We were planning on doing some academic placement tests. I tried to warn her in advance about his current spike in terrible behaviour. Which, when you realize his normal often leaves him labelled ‘intense’ or ‘ADD’, it was ridiculous.
The first 3 tests, vocabulary and its usage, went well. She stopped the first test after he reached the age 24 level. The next two she stopped when he reached 12 years of age level. Then he decided he’d had enough.
The next test, he placed at age 4. The following tests were at age 3, 2, 1 and 1.5 years. For example, he’d concretely label every geometric shape wrong. Or he’d use some obtuse name for the shape (where square would suffice, he’d call it a parallelogram).
For the spelling test, for example, he was asked to spell ‘yet’. He wrote ‘yell’ and said “that’s what I’m thinking!”
She then replied, “That says yell, write ‘yet.’
He then glared at her, swiped off one ‘l’ and slashed the other ‘l’ and said… ” ‘yet’ I made you wait.”
Then he started destroying her office, systematically.
So she and I conferenced and according to her words, “He can’t be allowed to think he’s won this battle” and she booked him for two more days this week, and 5 more sessions next week.
There are a few things being said to me repeatedly.
First, I need better supports for myself. Each professional has expressed to me some level of astonishment as to how I cope with this child basically by myself. I have been clearly told that I need to find some programs for my son so that I can have time away from his intense behaviours.
Second, he has been repeatedly placed in the Asperger syndrome spectrum. This isn’t a diagnosis but that what he does most reflects behaviours found in someone with Asperger’s syndrome. He also does present with ADD behaviours but today it was strongly suggested that this is because he is extremely smart and manifesting his Asperger’s tendencies in ways that first suggest ADD.
Since he’s been tested 3 times for ADD/ADHD and that has been ruled out as a diagnosis, I can see this making a lot of sense.
Third, I’ve had it unequivocally stated that our son does not belong in a school. At this time I’ve got my husband’s 100% support to continue homeschooling our son. He doesn’t entertain the notion anymore!
One thing that keeps coming up in my mind is, while there is some sense of relief that I’m getting confirmation that I’m not making up my son’s behaviours as suggested by certain extended family members, I’d much rather deal with the scenario where it was me who has the problem.
Its hard to hear, “Honey, he’s not special needs, he’s high needs!” and realize that essentially this means that he’s got so many more needs to be met than are currently being met. Yes, it looks like I’m going to be getting help. For one I’ve been enrolled in an University Educational Specialist course for dealing with high needs students. Yet, I know, this quest of my son’s growth into adulthood is going to be long, hard and full of my tears and frustrations!
Today I just keep thinking this one thought… seriously, if it could just be something as simple as I didn’t hold him enough, or he had too many ultrasounds in utero… or maybe its me???
Time to go have some quiet time with my Bible. Currently Daddy’s taken the kidlet’s fishing… let’s hope they stay on dry land!