One of the Problems with a Workaholic Husband

My husband is a Workaholic. To me, this is on par with other addictions.

There are several things that really cause us grief about this addiction, but I think one of the greatest sources of irritation to me is that my husband has a very hard time understanding or at least accepting my limitations.  For example, it is hard for him to understand why I want alone time daily.  Or, why I really can’t seem to clean the house with the children present.  Or, why I am beat by the time he gets up daily.  Yes, you can add to Workaholism the fact that he works nights and sleeps during the day.

Today, we did our schooling, I worked my yard duty job which today involved an indoor lunch hour, I spent over 4 hours helping one friend, and drove another friend to pick up her recently repaired vehicle, I did some prep work for a sewing job and some very minimal picking up around the house. In all, a very successful day.

But tonight when he left he wanted me to do a list of about 5 more items. The problem is, I just mentally did not want to do any more! By the time I had the children in bed and gone through their routine, it was enough to just sit and relax.

Another of the problems has to do with the fact that I often feel like a single parent. Every now and then, especially lately as I am fighting off a very persistent cough, I find myself craving solitude.   Not because of the children’s behaviour but because of my increasing claustrophobic feelings.

I told a friend recently that a dream weekend for me would involve one of those Convents where they had a vow of silence.  Naturally she correctly pointed out that the foreign silence would likely crush me.

And yet I would like to get away from this all.  Just for a short time.  To let go of those feelings where you just wish you could please just not have to deal with another ‘situation’ or ‘crises.’  The… “MooooM!”  Argh!   I love you but for the love of Mom!  Stop it!

Play, please play children… but… just play!  😆

I know it is getting bad because today I found myself telling my son, repeatedly, “Please, I don’t want to know!  That’s why I didn’t say yes!  Just let it go for a bit!  Wait 5 minutes… if it is still important, then come and tell me.  But you don’t have to tell me everything you think!  Its O-K with Mom!  Seriously!  No I really mean it!  I don’t want to know why you like that underwear better than this one!  Argh!  Now GO to Your Room!”

Yet I sit back and know its going to be okay in the long run.  This is a stage, right?  And I’m trying to enjoy the moments!

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4 Responses to One of the Problems with a Workaholic Husband

  1. Elaine says:

    I can understand. With my hubby gone for 2 weeks at a time I am a single parent. It isn’t always easy during that time but it does help that my kids are older (15 tomorrow and almost 12) so they find other ways to share what’s important to them and sometimes it’s with friends.

    I do admit that I love the 2 weeks when hubby is home and I can tell the kids, “Go tell Dad” or “Go ask Dad” and not have to make as many decisions.

    Just keep praying and blogging and you will find the God has taken you through this phase/stage and is preparing you for the next.

  2. Birdy, I’d email you through the CMCanada list but I think you’re bouncing there (old email?). Would you ever be able to come out to one of the local hs group meetings, just for some friendly smiles and…well…support? There’s one this weekend and you’d be welcome. You can contact me through the list for details, or just leave a message at the Treehouse.

  3. We too have been through the times of single parenthood…it isn’t fun and I commend those that have to be single parents. It is a tough job!
    I will pray that God will lead you through this time. He will equip you for what you need and prepare you for the “next thing”, whatever that might be.

  4. Desia says:

    It’s not that long ago that I felt like you Birdy; exactly those feelings of craving being by yourself totally, for just a day or two, and never getting the chance. (Could your parents keep the kids for a day or so? I really wish a time of solitude for you, it sounds as if it would do you a world of good.)
    But, soon enough, as many “older” moms will tell you, this season of you life passes and you do get some alone-time.
    I think it’s worse when one homeschools, since you never really get to be alone – I’m having some of that now with homeschooling our youngest (grade 10) but nothing like when they were younger and needed me all the time! My husband is a workaholic too, and sometimes I felt like a single mom. I used to joke that some of my new friends must have thought I was lying about this alleged husband I have, since they never saw him!
    May God grant you all you need.

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